Key Point
• Clients who repeatedly take advantage of you and disrespect your boundaries should be dismissed.
Dismissing a client is something many of us have never experienced, although many may have thought about it. It’s sometimes necessary for our mental health. Those who have been in business for more than a couple years have probably dealt with clients who have committed dismissal-worthy offenses, and yet, it’s something that can be uncomfortable to deal with.
If a client tries to sexualize the session, that’s cause for immediate dismissal in the middle of the massage. If they make a suggestive remark or compliment your body, for example, you should immediately remove your hands from them and give them a warning that you provide therapeutic massage, not sexual services, and will not tolerate such comments. If you feel they will respect the warning, it is your judgment call whether to proceed, but if they actually touch you or you feel uncomfortable, tell them the massage is over and leave the room. Make it clear they are not welcome to return.
Secondary Offenses Are Still Offenses
Not everything is as serious as a sexual offense but may still be dismissal-worthy. Sometimes, we just don’t connect with a client . . . there may be transference or countertransference going on, which we should be able to recognize, but we don’t have to discuss that with the client; we shouldn’t come across as if we’re trying to practice psychological counseling on them.
Other clients who we need to let go of are the ones who constantly arrive late and still expect their full session or those who chronically cancel at the last minute or try to persuade you to schedule them on your days off or after hours and have no respect for your time. Clients who are too nosy about your personal life or who complain about all their personal problems and make you feel exhausted after a session also should be considered for dismissal. Disregarding your boundaries is good cause for dismissal.
When You Work for Someone Else
If you’re employed by someone else, you may not have the option of dismissing clients. Your employer may expect you to put up with any and everything. You have the right to not be treated like that.
One of the longest-standing employees in my business applied after her former employer ignored complaints about sexually inappropriate clients. It was always made light of, and the owner didn’t want to dismiss any clients. If you’re self-employed, you do not have to put up with that.
If you’re relatively new to massage or new to owning your practice, you may be concerned about affecting your income if you dismiss a client. Ask yourself which will cause you more stress—giving up the client or continuing to see them—and act accordingly.
Though the conversation with the client may feel uncomfortable, be polite but firm, keep your emotions in check, make eye contact, and say something like, “Mr. Smith, I don’t feel as if you and I are a good fit for each other. I’d prefer you see another therapist going forward. Here is a list of local therapists I recommend.” That’s all you have to say.
Laura Allen has been a licensed massage therapist since 1999 and an approved provider of continuing education since 2000. She is the author of Nina McIntosh’s The Educated Heart, now in its fifth edition, and numerous other books. Allen lives in the mountains of western North Carolina with her husband and their two rescue dogs.
Respect Massage
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