Key Point

• Massage therapists have stress like everyone else; self-care is not selfish.

Massage therapists are in the business of helping people by alleviating stress and pain, which often go together. People who experience pain are usually stressed by that, and people who experience chronic stress will usually end up in pain from the tension they’re carrying in their neck, shoulders, or elsewhere. 

But just because we’re in the business of relieving stress doesn’t mean we’re immune to it ourselves. We’re human like everyone else: We have jobs to get to, families to take care of, bills to pay, a household to maintain. Upsetting things may occur in our life, such as sickness or the death of a loved one, possibly being the caregiver for that person, getting our own injury or diagnosis we hadn’t planned on, divorce or a breakup, trying to juggle our schedules to fit in everything we think we have to do, or other things that may throw us into a tailspin. How can we keep a balance with our work and continue to help others when we’re going through our own problems? 

We have to realize that self-care is not selfish. Self-care may mean getting a massage, taking an hour to soak in a hot bubble bath, taking a nap, or zoning out with a good book for an hour or two. The world is not going to end if your family has to eat a peanut butter sandwich or takeout pizza instead of a home-cooked meal for dinner when you need a break. The housework police aren’t going to arrest you if the floor hasn’t been mopped. 

If you’re a caregiver and you work, seek someone who can offer respite care, whether for a few hours on a regular basis or a few days. Many home health-care agencies have aides who are available for a few extra hours, or you may find someone by advertising locally or on social media. 

It’s important to separate your work life from your personal life and not bring your problems into the treatment room. When you do, you risk being too chatty and sharing your personal problems with clients. That may cause the client to feel like they need to take care of you instead of you taking care of them and to perceive you as unprofessional if you’re too emotional and unloading your personal problems on them. Seek out a counselor or support group—there are many free support groups online. 

When we are physically, emotionally, or mentally exhausted, we can’t do what we’re called to do, actually enjoy our work, and feel satisfied that we’ve helped make those people we’ve touched have a better day. Remember the airplane warning to put your oxygen mask on before trying to help anyone else. We’re helpers, but we have to help ourselves first. 

Learn more

Discover self-care tips at abmp.com/members/abmp-self-care.