Takeaway: A shift in perspective as an interviewee could result in a shift in the physical and emotional response you normally have heading into a job interview.

When was the last time you interviewed for a job? Until recently, it had been well over a decade for me. Shortly after my interview, a colleague shared a similar story. It led me down a path of curiosity that involved asking nearly everyone I encountered about their last interview experience. While reflecting on this small and informal study of accounts, a series of thoughts resulted in a “lightbulb moment” that caused me to rethink interviewing as I had known it. 

First, I recognized that no matter one’s level or years of experience, interviews are nerve-racking. Nerves aren’t just for newbies; in fact, I’m fairly certain few people are immune to this feeling. However, I realized that a shift in perspective could result in a shift in this physical/emotional response. After all, our thoughts and beliefs about an experience are what cause our bodies and emotions to be affected.

This led me to think there is an oft-overlooked aspect of the interview process—there are actually two parties interviewing each other. What would happen if the people on each side of the interview relationship kept this concept at the forefront? And how would seeing employment itself as a relationship change the way you prepare for your next interview?

If you want to interview “like a boss” (in other words, extremely well, and with the least amount of anxiety and greatest likelihood of getting what you want), I propose you learn to interview literally like a boss.

The Employment Relationship

Consider this: If you were in the hiring manager’s shoes, would you see yourself as the kind of person you would want to hire and work with? This leads to the question of what makes an excellent employee or coworker. 

Similarly, if this company were viewed as a candidate being interviewed for the role of employer, would they be the kind of company you want to work with? What makes an excellent employer?

Successful relationships require partnership to thrive, even if there is a power differential (meaning one person is in a position of authority). Therefore, both sides need to consider what they each have to give and what they need to receive to reach optimal outcomes and meet common goals. They also need to be clear about what those outcomes and goals are.

What Makes an Excellent Employee?

While it’s clearly important to possess the knowledge, skills, and abilities that are outlined in the job description, I am going to posit that of equal importance is whether you project yourself as someone who is great to work with. Interviewers don’t want to know only what you have done, currently do, or plan to do if you get this job. They want to know who you are. Think about it. No one wants to work with someone who is difficult.

So, think about the traits of a person who is awesome to work with. Here are some ideas and why they are significant:

• Reliability—if a person is unreliable, someone will likely have to cover for them.
• Teamwork—a collective effort makes most tasks and problem-solving efforts much easier. We are all better when we work together.
• Willingness to learn and ask questions—those who don’t embrace this attitude are more likely to make mistakes since they didn’t ask enough questions, resulting in someone having to pick up the slack or spend unnecessary time fixing errors that could have been avoided. Plus, there are many ways to approach most tasks and problems, and expanding one’s knowledge and skills only makes them more useful and effective.
• Communication—this includes being an active listener, offering presence, and being direct and concise when answering a question (in other words, don’t over-talk or veer so far off track that you lose or exhaust your listener). It also means speaking in a positive tone. Negativity can spread like a virus and drastically lower the vibe of a workplace. No one wants that.
• Conflict-resolution—working in an environment of tension and conflict is stressful and makes life unpleasant for everyone. It is best to resolve problems that arise directly and swiftly.
• Inclusivity—now more than ever, people are welcome to be who they are and that often means they are not exactly like you. For a business to thrive, all people must be offered respect.
• Authenticity—a genuine person is easier to trust (and trust is a massively important quality for any employer).

Anticipate ways you can demonstrate these traits during the interview (or other traits that you deem significant). Do an online search on common interview questions and find ways to incorporate stories that demonstrate these character traits within your responses. 

What Makes an Excellent Employer?

Let’s face it, most of us go into the interview process primarily focused on being chosen. It’s one of the main reasons we get nervous. However, it’s important to remember that if you are chosen, this is where you’ll be spending many hours of your life. What you will be receiving is as important as what you will be giving. Therefore, it’s wise to spend a portion of the time interviewing the person with whom you are seeking employment.

I’m not saying you should grill the interviewer or be demanding (that would likely not go over well). I am saying that employment is a two-way street, and when you seek a place to work, it needs to be a good fit for everyone involved. It’s a relationship, and no relationship survives when only one side has their needs met.

Start by researching the company ahead of the interview. Check out their website, social media, and online reviews. Learn about their history, work culture, mission, values, and goals. If possible, “shop” your future employer as if you are a customer. 

Prepare some questions that will illuminate their company culture. Use the aforementioned traits to guide you. A few examples might be: “Do you think your team works well together? If so, can you give me an example?” “What does your orientation and training consist of?” “How do you deal with conflict between coworkers, supervisors/coworkers, unhappy clients/employees?”

Finally, get clear on what you want and need, and be sure you’re on the same page with the potential employer. This will include things like work hours, number of sessions expected per shift, how much time is given between sessions, etc. It’s important to know your limits and honor them. 

The Whole Package

The employment relationship is like any other healthy relationship—it is a reciprocal commitment to and acceptance of the whole package. 

Certainly, you still want to keep basic interviewing skills in mind: speak at an even pace and volume; use appropriate, professional language; make eye contact; exude warmth, friendliness, and confidence; dress professionally; be punctual; highlight how your knowledge, skills, and abilities match the job description; provide a copy of your resume and references; and follow up with a note of gratitude after the interview. 

The whole package of the ideal interview and employment experience includes demonstrating a desire to be in a collaborative and mutually beneficial relationship. After all, if the employment relationship matters to you, the therapeutic relationship with your client probably does too. And that is likely the most important trait that the boss is looking for!