Key Points

• There are simple ways to help clients be more engaged, interested, and involved. 

• Clients who know how to actively receive are great to work with and get even more out of their sessions.

It takes skill to give a great massage or bodywork session. We don’t always think about it this way, but it also takes skill to receive. Skilled receivers get immeasurably more out of their sessions, and clients who are good at receiving work are truly a joy to work on. Or more accurately, a joy to work with, since a key aspect of being a great receiver is being engaged in the experience rather than passively letting it happen. Like all skills, receiving is something that can be learned and refined. As a practitioner, are you doing your part to help your clients be skilled and engaged receivers?

Steps to Help Our Clients  

Helping our clients be more involved, interested, and connected as receivers isn’t difficult, and it doesn’t mean our clients have to work hard. Being actively engaged can be as simple as breathing, communicating, or moving. But our clients don’t automatically know this. Many people assume they should be still, quiet, and passive during a session and, as a result, can end up letting the session happen to them rather than finding a way to take part. 

Without meaning to, therapists can reinforce this passivity by assuming their clients just want to lie there and “receive.” As a practitioner, there are easy ways to gauge your client’s willingness to participate and simple things you can do to help your clients actively get the most out of their work with you.

Set the Tone 

First, set a participatory tone by talking with your clients before the work begins. This might be asking them what kind of session they’re looking for, what areas they want to focus on, and any issues you should be aware of. This will help you tailor the work to their needs and sets a collaborative tone that makes sure they don’t feel like they’re supposed to lie there and keep quiet.

Check In Often 

Second, keep communication open during the session and keep it body-based. In addition to asking about the pressure, model what it’s like to be curious about sensation itself. Ask what your client notices in their body. Help clients refine their proprioception by asking about differences they might feel between one side and another, or about what’s different before and after an area is worked. Directing clients’ attention to sensation not only gives you relevant information you can use in your work, but also helps the client notice the changes happening as the session progresses. And in a fundamental but easily overlooked way, asking clients to feel their body lays the groundwork for knowing whether they like something.

Encourage your clients to ask for what they want during your work. This could be by using prompts such as “Help me get this just right,” or even more open-ended questions like “How could this be even better?” Then, follow up so you can keep refining your pressure, direction, speed, or duration. You’ll feel your client relax, breathe, groan, or sigh when you find the right combination of these variables. 

There could be any number of reasons why we, as practitioners, don’t check in with our clients about what they want, or about how the work could be even better. We might have our own agenda for the session, or want to stay in control of the work, or we might assume that if we open the asking door, clients will ask for too much. But as practitioners, we’re also always in charge of what we want and don’t want. Don’t fear the overly controlling client: There are simple and clear ways to redirect or renegotiate, if your client’s requests aren’t things you can or want to provide. And if we don’t ask, we miss the chance to collaborate and may never know what could have been better.

Incorporate Movement 

Inviting our clients to move makes our work more effective, and it helps you take better care of your body, since when your client isn’t moving, you’re working at least twice as hard. 

Breathing is the simplest kind of active movement: Asking your client to take a breath, or to breathe along with what you’re doing, can help their nervous system downshift and can help both of you attune to the shared state and collaborative rhythm. 

There are many other ways to use active movement, such as asking your client to feel what happens when they slowly lift and lower their head as you’re cradling it. Or, find gentle, comfortable microscopic movements of their arm while you hold the tissue layers around a bothersome shoulder joint. 

Better Practitioners, Better Clients 

Of course, every client and every session are different, and, as long as it’s OK with both of you, it’s fine to work in any way you’d like. But helping your clients be more skilled and engaged as receivers will not only help you as a practitioner (since you’ll be enjoying your clients more, not working as hard, and skipping the guesswork), but it will also help your clients get the work they want, in the way they want, and get even more out of it.