Empaths are able to create nurturing environments for clients due to their innate sensitivity to energy. Without words, they’re able to intuit and soothe the unspoken anxieties and needs of those around them. Empaths are often able to read a room or situation flawlessly and have an incredible ability to hold space for others—especially for those who are struggling.
While empathy is a gift, it is not without its shadow side. Empaths without boundaries are susceptible to falling into the quiet trap of becoming energetic sponges, taking on the anxieties or emotional distress of the clients they’re supporting. This is a phenomenon called “energy matching,” where we unconsciously begin to mimic another person’s energy in an effort to make them feel more comfortable or more seen.
There is a fine line between holding space for clients who may be struggling with anxiety and absorbing the client’s anxiety. While the client may walk away feeling lighter, the practitioner might find themselves energetically depleted.
Empathic energy matching presents an obvious problem for practitioners: When we absorb the energy or emotions of someone else, it brings us out of our body. We unconsciously use cues from our client’s anxiety to propel the mind toward our own stories and anxieties, rendering us unable to be fully present to ourselves and our work.
So, what do you do if you’re matching your client’s anxiety?
Acknowledge Your Client’s Emotional State
When you first touch base with your client, make a point to inwardly acknowledge how you’re receiving them: Do they feel anxious and contracted, or lighthearted and expanded?
If the former, ask yourself: What is my current emotional capacity today? How can I show up to this person with integrity without blurring my own boundary lines?
If you find your emotional capacity is lower than usual, it’s helpful to have clear, affirming language you can offer. Simple statements like “I understand” and “You are heard” are excellent ways to offer verbal empathy without overstepping your own emotional boundaries.
Acknowledge Your Emotional State
After assessing your emotional capacity, it’s important to check whether you’re matching the client in any way. Ask yourself: Do I have any personal “matches” with what this client has shared with me today? If the answer is yes, a great next step is to implement a quick energy separation practice.
Energy Separation Practices
Energetic separation is an umbrella term for a number of practices that create mental and energetic boundaries between practitioners and clients. These practices are done with care and intentionality to prevent the transference of energy between clients and practitioners.
Mantras and Affirmations
Verbally acknowledging what is and is not yours to carry is an excellent way of impressing energy separation on the subconscious mind. Think of your mantras as invocations and declarations: You are clarifying your space and claiming only what is yours to keep. If you’re feeling generally depleted, mantras like “I am in my body,” “I am here now,” and “I call my vital energy back to me” are great options.
There’s no right or wrong way to practice mantra work. It’s simply a tool to encourage acknowledgment and separation in the mind and body. So, if you notice there’s a particular client or energy in your space, feel free to be even more specific with your language: “I am [insert your name]. My client is [insert client’s name]. My emotions are mine, and theirs are theirs. I release any anxiety or emotion that is not mine.”
Grounding
It’s always a good practice to conduct body check-ins. Before and after meeting with a client, drop in with yourself to notice if you’re holding onto extra energy or emotion in specific parts of your body. Start with the key physical spaces where we tend to store emotion: heart, back, hips, and lower belly. Simply stand still for a moment or two, and then send focused breath to those physical spaces, visualizing a stream of white light cleansing or clearing any energetic or emotional residue. In your mind’s eye, watch the light drain that energy into the earth and away from you.
If you find yourself short on time, you can build grounding practices into tasks you’re already doing, such as intentional handwashing. While you wash your hands between clients, pause to take a few deep, intentional breaths, and then visualize the water cleansing away any energy or emotion you may have picked up in your last session.
Another simple grounding tool is the five senses technique to purposefully take in your surroundings and bring you back into your body. Notice five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This practice, which can take just a few moments, brings you back into the here and now and supports the release of any energy transference that may have occurred.
Above all, remember that your empathic nature is a gift! Do the work to acknowledge, separate, and cleanse yourself of negative energy, so you’re able to share your gifts from a state of vibrancy without hesitancy.
Do a Self-Check
Beyond energetic separation, if you find you often have emotional matches with your client’s energy, it’s important to examine your own mental and emotional health. Here are a few helpful check-ins:
• Am I regularly taking care of my body, mind, and soul?
• Am I giving myself permission to receive outside support?
• Am I remaining judgment-free about my process?
Amanda Huggins is a respected anxiety and mindfulness coach, certified yoga instructor, brand ambassador, writer, and keynote speaker. She offers workshops and digital courses for clients across all spectrums, and cultivates her ever-expanding social media community of over 350,000 followers across TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube. Huggins resides in New York City with her beloved dog Spartacus. For more information, visit amandahugginscoaching.com, tiktok.com/@itsamandahuggins, or instagram.com/itsamandahuggins.