What comes to mind when you think of support? Maybe images of people helping, caring, or assisting one another floats into your mind’s eye. And in our experience, most of us caregivers naturally direct support outside of ourselves. And in our experience, most of us caregivers naturally direct support outside of ourselves. If this is true for you, we invite you to embrace a pattern interruption as you flip the script and redirect the flow of support to yourself with your breath, imagination, and some yummy prop-supported stretches.
Sometimes the support we need is found outside ourselves, and sometimes we are the source. Enjoy a few breaths and moments for yourself as you consider these questions:
• How would I like to receive support?
• What would make life easier for me?
• Who can I ask for help?
• Is there any particular type of support that would most nourish me today?
Getting curious and tuning into the unique requests and wants of our inner well-being generates a deep reservoir of self-awareness. From this space, we can more sensitively attune to and support ourselves as we generate support for others.
Let’s explore!
Prevent Trouble Before It Arises
It didn’t take long in our bodywork careers before we discovered how essential it is to find ways to give back to ourselves in order to have the energy to give to others. There have been many occasions where we literally gave until it hurt. Our teacher in Thailand reminded us, “How can you feed someone else if your bowl is empty?” In other words, if we delay our self-care—or outsource it to someone else—we may find ourselves malnourished, feeling hungry and running on empty.
In our quest to nourish ourselves with sumptuous support, we rely on props. Blankets, bolsters, blocks, yoga straps, therapy balls, and more give us the support we’re craving. Using props is a great way to customize your own self-care, safely provide stability, and empower and grow your body wisdom.
You don’t need to spend a lot of money, and you likely have plenty of prop support lying around your home. Look for a firm pillow to substitute for a yoga bolster or block. Swap out a yoga strap with a long towel, belt, or necktie. Use a tennis or golf ball instead of therapy balls. What matters most is your openness to discover new ways to stretch, stabilize, strengthen, and open yourself to the support that’s all around you.
Customize Your Self-Care with Props
Personalize your practice to the specific shape, structure, and needs of your body so you can leverage the greatest impact and ease with the least amount of effort and resistance. Use props to help prevent injuries by maintaining good alignment while in a stretch. Props also support steadiness in areas of weakness and can enhance peace of mind or feelings of stability when exploring a new range of motion—especially in an area that is healing. For this first stretch, gather a long fabric, like a towel, yoga strap, exercise band, belt, or necktie as we open our shoulders.
Shoulder Flossing Stretch
This dynamic stretch and range-of-motion exercise opens the thoracic outlet and counteracts excessive thoracic kyphosis, shoulder projects, and other symptoms resulting from ventral drag. To perform this stretch:
1. Stand holding the ends of the strap, necktie, or towel in front of you down by your waist. Widen your hands apart until you’re holding the strap at a distance wider than your shoulders.
2. Inhale as you lift your arms and the strap up overhead.
3. Exhale and bring the strap back behind you.
4. Now, inhale as you bring your arms back overhead, and exhale while bringing the strap back down in front of your waist. Note: Only go as far as feels safe for your shoulders. If you like, you can experiment with this stretch by widening your hold on the strap (which usually provides for a gentler modification).
Repeat this stretch several times until you feel an opening in your chest, heart, or shoulders. Notice where your body wants to go, and choose to pause and hold longer in any position that feels edgy, achy, or could simply use a little extra TLC.
If you hold a position, be sure not to hold your breath. In fact, imagine you can breathe deeply into where you feel the most sensation (even in areas where there’s no lung tissue—like into muscles, joints, and bones), and continue to relax your jaw, neck, and face.
Amplify Gratitude with Props
Props facilitate moments of safety and steadiness that disarm our body’s stress response and usher in an inner quietude of our mind and a calmness that descends into our heart. Props also create space for your present moment awareness to amplify your acceptance and gratitude for your body (or any other intention). And, instead of worrying about hurting yourself or ramping up your stress response with excessive rushing, you get to enjoy peaceful moments resting back with the support of a bolster, blanket, or towel.
Supported Spinal Reset
Restore the natural orientation of your spine while you open your chest, shoulders, arms, and viscera. To perform this spinal reset:
1. Roll or fold one or two blankets (or large towels) lengthwise, and rest them on the floor in line with your spine. Note: You will want this rolled fabric to be at least as long as the length of your spine, and experiment with the tautness and thickness to create the perfect support system.
2. Note: You may need an additional pillow to support your cervical and/or head. Your legs may be extended flat down, bent, and/or supported with a pillow or bolster (for added lumbar support). Reposition until you establish a suspension system of support that’s most comfortable and safe for your back. Allow your arms to rest out to the sides, palms up and scapulae rolled down and back. Feel yourself breathing as you smile to yourself.
We recommend resting here at least five minutes to allow gravity to help relax and reorient the muscles that align your spine, or set your timer for 10–20 minutes and utilize this position to support a meditative posture or power nap (see “Power Pause” on page 22 of the January/February 2020 issue of Massage & Bodywork to read more about the power of pausing). Give yourself the gifts of time and support as you nurture a happy posture, refreshed awareness, and embodied alignment.
Empower, Explore, and Expand with Props
Props can give us the extra oomph, edge, or impact that allows us to stretch deeper, release more fully, and empower our self-awareness. At its heart, we believe self-care supports us becoming more self-aware.
Props change our relationship with support and gravity, and these features allow us to get clearer about the stories and messages we’re communicating to our bodies.
Conversely, these new orientations help us become more sensitive to the impulses, sensations, and other expressions our body intelligence communicates into our awareness. As you listen and communicate with the messages your body speaks in response to the shapes you create, you also grow self-confidence, self-trust, and a reliable track record of inner support.
Notice the sensory feedback you receive from your body as you experiment with new ways of receiving support. Breathe deeper and relax more with the help of a firm pillow or yoga block for our next shape of support.
Supported Bridge for Low-Back Relief
Support, lift, and take the pressure off your lower back with a sacrum decompression. To do this:
1. Find a firm pillow (like a small couch-sized pillow), fold up some blankets, or use a yoga block to rest directly under your sacrum. Experiment with the thickness of one or more pillows, or the height of your block.
2. Begin by lying on your back, with your feet hip-width apart on the floor and your support nearby. Press into your feet to lift your hips and lower back off the floor. Now place your pillow or block directly under your sacrum (not under your lower back or lumbar vertebrae).
3. Rest your sacrum down on the block or pillow, and feel the rest of your body drape around the support.
4. Listen to your body. Do you need more or less support here? What other body sensations do you notice? Can you release any holding or guarding in your glutes, low back, neck, or jaw?
5. Gift yourself at least 6–9 full diaphragmatic breaths to release and savor the sweet support of your L5–S1 joint decompressing.
6. To come out of this shape, press your feet into the floor, lift your hips off the block or pillow, and slide the support out from under you as you gently roll your spine back to the floor. Sequentially allow the upper, middle, lower back, and finally tailbone to rest back down. Notice how you feel now.
We can all benefit from a little extra support. By adding props to your self-care practice, you can meet your body where it is and get the most out of every stretch, lift, or opening. After more than 20 years of practicing massage and bodywork, we realize self-care is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. Self-care, just like asking for and giving yourself support, is essential to feeling healthy, happy, and nourished.
Creating a self-care practice that reliably supports you is a constant evolution and discovery. Ask yourself daily: “What particular type of support would I like?” And then give it to yourself! This daily practice is a template for a lifestyle that embodies and emanates support.
Heath and Nicole Reed are co-founders of Living Metta (living “loving kindness”), a CE company now offering touch therapy tools and self-care practices in their online community. They also lead workshops and retreats across the country and overseas, and have been team-teaching touch and movement therapy for over 20 years. In addition to live classes, the Reeds are life coaches offering home study, bodywork, self-care videos, and online courses that nourish you. Try their community for free for 30 days at livingmetta.com/trial.