Massage and bodywork are heart-based, caregiving professions. We concurrently practice an art and a science, serving the body and the mind. Many of us came to massage because we wanted a career that included meaningful work and connection to others. In the same vein, that desire to connect and serve can cloud boundaries and turn into service from an entirely emotional place. This is a recipe for resentment and burnout, all too common in our field.
In our January/February 2021 column (“Code of Ethics,” page 26), we explored creating a personal code of ethics and considered our responsibilities to our clients. Included in my own personal code of ethics were the following:
• Provide the best possible care given my abilities; refer out if a client’s needs are not being fully met by my services.
• Work only within my scope of practice as defined by my state regulations and training.
• Keep clients emotionally and physically safe.
• Vigilantly protect confidentiality.
As I dive deeper into how I serve my clients, I find myself thinking about the less tangible aspects of practitioner-client relationships, boundaries, and exactly what my service to clients includes, in a holistic sense. I’ve heard many stories of practitioners who stay late for clients, tolerate uncomfortable situations, or give discounts out of a sense of guilt or loyalty. I’ve wondered about the balance between generous caregiving and good boundaries. I’ve wondered: What do we owe our clients?

WE OWE CLIENTS CLARITY AND HONESTY

We should be clear and honest about if and how our services can help clients achieve their desired outcome. If a client comes to me because they heard massage can help improve thyroid function, I owe that client the unequivocal truth of saying, “I have never heard of any credible information demonstrating massage can change thyroid function. We know massage can help with stress. I am happy to provide massage for the purposes of stress relief; that’s what I do! But I want to be clear there likely won’t be a change in your thyroid function as a result of massage.”
We also owe clients and potential clients our honesty—even in uncomfortable situations like when we do not wish to schedule an appointment with them. It’s very hard to say, “I was uncomfortable with your behavior at your last visit, so I’ve decided to terminate our professional relationship.”

I’ve seen many MTs get trapped by their own dishonesty when they default to “I don’t have any appointments available” when in fact they do. Lying to a client or potential client is a bad idea. Best case scenario, you are a liar. Worst case, you’re a liar and it will backfire. You’ll run into that client at the grocery store on the day you said you were overbooked. Or their friend will tell them how happy they were to get an appointment with you right away. In a word-of-mouth type of business, your word must be trustworthy.

These uncomfortable exchanges become easier with time and practice. Ultimately, you’ll feel great about holding your boundaries and avoiding client relationships that drain you.

WE OWE CLIENTS CONSISTENCY

If I tell a client I do not work Monday mornings, but I frequently make an exception and they continue to request that time, it’s on me. I created that situation. We owe our clients consistency in our decision-making and the realistic expectations they create around it. This applies to scheduling, discounts we may give certain clients, and what we tolerate in the massage room. If you’ve found yourself repeatedly uncomfortable in a situation, it may be time to regroup and craft a new policy to create more consistency moving forward.

WE OWE CLIENTS ETHICAL BEHAVIOR EVEN WHEN A CLIENT DOESN’T DISPLAY ETHICAL BEHAVIOR

If a client makes inappropriate jokes during a session, even after I have kindly and clearly asked them to stop, I am still responsible for maintaining my own ethical behavior. I am responsible for maintaining my professionalism as I end the session—and inform them I will not be scheduling them again. Their behavior does not give me justification for getting angry or calling them a perv or a creep—to their face or otherwise.
If a client repeatedly arrives late or no-shows, I am still obligated to maintain confidentiality around that when their spouse asks how their massage went.
We do not owe anyone our happiness or space in our brain. We do not need to worry about a client who does not want to do their self-care stretches. We do not owe a client results if they continue the behavior that harms their body (or mind). It is our job and obligation to treat that client at the time we agreed on for the price we agreed while they’re in the office. It is not our responsibility to worry about them outside of that.

HOW DO WE MAKE THESE DECISIONS?

I’ve found it often helps to take a situation and apply it to a nonmassage business. Would I open my coffee shop an hour early on a random Tuesday because one single customer has an early meeting that day and really needs their fancy caramel macchiato? Nope, that’s ridiculous.
My favorite way to check my own decision-making is to ask myself, “If a colleague shared this situation with me, how would I advise them?” We are typically great at helping others maintain boundaries but less than firm with our own. This exercise can add some much-needed perspective and result in better decisions.
All of our decisions around client relationships help us build healthy, sustainable careers. Considering and regularly reconsidering how you serve your clients is a helpful way to be sure your massage business continues to serve you too.