I’ve spent plenty of time wanting to have more money, but I’m not sure how to earn more. Experiences from my childhood informed how I thought about money. Good or bad, our experiences shape our preconceived beliefs about what is possible in most domains of life, money included.

Changing our perceptions and beliefs is possible, but it takes self-awareness, courage, and commitment to shift our thinking in this hypercharged domain.

My childhood history with money included ideas of scarcity, shame, and   backbreaking hard work. Later in life, I met friends who had a very different view and relationship with money. For a long time, I envied them but had no idea how to turn this icky feeling into something more productive. Then, I decided to figure out how to cultivate a new, better relationship with money, one that would empower me rather than leaving me feeling unsatisfied. 

Following are some of the key insights I gained and applied from the book You are a Badass (Running Press Adult, 2013) by Jen Sincero.

1. Start from a Place of Abundance

Our beliefs, Sincero argues, are the key to our money success. If we believe there is scarcity in the universe, our brain, in its never-ending efforts to make us right, will find and highlight all the scarcity. Our brain, miracle that it is, manages to delete, distort, and generalize information so we can synthesize the overwhelming amounts of data we feed it into something digestible. Sincero suggests we instead should come from a place of abundance.

This is hard when many of us learned something about money in relation to lack, scarcity, or even fear. We need to rewire the scarcity idea, which creates stress and competition, into an abundance idea that empowers us to be creative, generous, and grateful. The cool thing is we get to choose what to believe. We can believe money is finite—once you give it away, it never comes back—or, like Sincero, we can believe in generosity, abundance, and the unlimited power of the universe—being wide open to the flow. I have found that panic and worry are not productive and that abundance and generosity bring more abundance and generosity. I focus on attracting more of what I want … abundance.

2. Get Clear on Where You’re Starting

Honestly, this one was less fun for me. For years, I felt paralyzed by any financial-related mail that arrived at my house. My husband got tired of opening it all. Eventually, I realized I had to take a hard look at this and other avoidance behaviors in the realm of money. What obstacles prevented me from getting clear and proactive on my finances?

If you don’t want to dig deep into your subconscious beliefs, at least take an honest look at your current status with money. How much do you have? What does your current flow look like? How much is coming in? How much is going out? Be kind—no sense beating yourself up. That won’t drive behavior change. Trust me, I’ve tried. Choose wonder over worry; it has a lot more mileage!

3. Get Clear on Where You Want to Be

I believe we are all here to become the grandest version of ourselves, to offer the best of our talent as well as the best of our care and connection in meaningful relationships. To do this, we need resources that make it possible, including time, money, and energy. Are you committed to share your very best potential with the world? If so, what would help you bring your “A” game?

In this step, we clarify how much it will cost to achieve our assessment of true success. Then, we set out with steadfast determination to manifest the money we need to create it. This doesn’t mean becoming greedy or driven by ego. Rather, it means asking our hearts and minds to enter into a closer partnership. If we choose to believe there is abundance in the world, what amount of money or type of flow would feel amazing?

For me, this step took some self-love. I had to examine some obstacles in my thinking. Am I really worthy of what I desire? Do I deserve to be that happy? I needed to move from a maybe to an unwavering YES!

4. Raise Your Frequency

When we feel anxious, jealous, insecure, or fearful about money, we are operating at a lower vibration. This vibration does not attract abundance. We need to find the next best feeling we can about money, or anything we desire. First, explore feeling hopeful, perhaps by creating a positive expectation or belief. Feel your way to enthusiasm, happiness, and ultimately joy, freedom, and empowerment.

Money creates exchanges of energy between people. If you have integrity and use your powerful talents to help others, this exchange of energy should feel good. If it doesn’t, what do you need to learn? Is something out of alignment with your values?

Expand your wealth consciousness though education and know-how. Find podcasts or books that expand your money awareness. I love the advice, “Operate at a $1 million dollar frequency.” When I first heard that, I thought, “Well, I am definitely not operating at that frequency now—but I am ready and willing to learn how.”

If we want to surround ourselves with higher vibration experiences, including more money, we need to be able to show up at that frequency. To start with, I needed to change my internal language about money, to stop thinking it was dirty or something only some people get to enjoy.

5. Stay in Shape

Once I raised my frequency and held my beliefs in limitless possibility, I needed to stay in shape. I did some things I never thought I would. I read wealth-consciousness books. I carefully found people I could talk to about the joy of money. I even crunched the numbers. How much will I need, per year, per month, per hour?

Though I usually avoid details, I got specific—super specific. I got clear on exactly what I was shooting for. Then, I uncovered the why; I got clear on why I wanted this money by digging deep into how it would make me feel.

Then, I practiced those feelings. Yep, it may sound crazy. I made a money mantra. Now, after I read it, I lean into the reason I value money as a resource: “As the founder of Conscious Time, I love earning money by helping clients remove obstacles to joy and success for the purpose of my enjoyment, delight, and generosity with my family and friends, as well as for the moral and spiritual greatness of the planet.”

The Asaro Tribe believes

“Knowledge is Only Rumor Until It Lives in the Bones.” It takes time—as well as self-awareness, courage, and commitment—for our learning to travel into our bones. After much practice, I have a positive, grateful relationship with money. Last month, I earned more gross income than ever. Even with this success, I know it is a constant work in progress. Enjoy the journey!