Everyone has a dream. In fact, most of us have several dreams. One of my clients wants to retire in the Bahamas and make seashell murals. Another, who lives in a compromised area of town, wants to steer her sons away from gangs and toward college. My youngest son wants to become a Major League Baseball player. I want to make enough money to continue paying for the baseball training.
What about your clients’ dreams? Understanding their goals and desires can greatly enhance your professional effectiveness. After all, a dream—a goal—is a fantastic reason to work toward wellness.
In this column, I will first examine the nuances of goal setting, emphasizing the “rules of order” that will simultaneously support your client’s overall life desires, as well as their healing endeavors. But I’m going to go beyond this mental exercise, because the subtle or hidden energy within a client might be in conflict with their obvious and stated goals. Without knowing it, a client might be silently sabotaging or working against themselves. If this is the case, you have to go another mile—a subtle mile.
For example, I once worked with a client who said she wanted to become pain-free, but her family only tended to her when she wasn’t feeling well. My client’s pain level would go down after our work and then shoot off the charts once a family member came home. Finally, my client informed me that she didn’t want to get well. She would rather be loved. In response, I guided her into a special subtle state called the “bardo,” which I’ll introduce here. There, she rethought her needs and desires. And guess what? After spending time in this state, she started having more pain-free days than pain-filled ones, no matter who was around.
A Goal-Setting Formula
Before jumping in, let’s agree on a definition of the word “goal.” A goal is the object of a person’s ambition. Other words for goal include design, dream, intention, objective, purpose, and target.
The first person who taught me about goals was a former boss, the CEO of a public relations company. She shared a simple formula with me. In general, the most powerful goals are those that allow you to take AIM, or establish an intention described in these three ways:
• Achievable
• Important
• Measurable
I’m sure you ask a client what they want to achieve during your first meeting and request an update every time they return. You might need to help a client set goals that meet all three objectives. For instance, if a client says, “I want to decrease pain,” you might ask what percentage of change would qualify as beneficial (measurable). If the expectation seems too grand, you might figure out what’s doable (achievable). You could also ask them how vital this desire is (important).
In order to guarantee that a goal is important enough to continually strive for, especially if the going gets rough, it must be holistic. It must be profoundly vital to the body, mind, and soul. It must stir someone on the subtle level, rather than only the physical.
What do I mean by this? We are composed of more than physical energy—energy defined as information that vibrates. Subtle energy, which travels faster or slower than physical or measurable energy, is the framework for physical reality. Subtle energy takes its marching orders from our conscious goals, but also from deep emotions, subconscious thoughts, and others’ energies, among other factors. When our client establishes healing goals that are soul-rich, emotionally satisfying, mentally stimulating, and practical on the everyday level, that client will remain motivated toward transformation. Our healing work will work.
Reframing Goals
How do we help a client “superpower” their AIMs? First, we can take a clue from research conducted on sports athletes. A study run by the Aristotle University of Thessaloniki in Greece showed that injured athletes who are more goal oriented recover more easily than those who are not. The content of the overarching goal needs to be personally significant, but also intense. These two functions interact to initiate action, which is easiest to accomplish when the activities are broken into several small steps.1
In other words, your client will be more apt to make health changes, and allow your support, if they are also working intensely toward an important life goal through actions divided into bite-size pieces. I have a perfect example.
Recently I worked with a client who was partially paralyzed from a car accident. She hated sitting around and wanted to jog again.
This client called me seeking a miracle, stating that she wanted our work to instantly unlock her legs. That wasn’t achievable, so I helped her reframe her goal so it was not only measurable and important, but also doable. Basically, we broke her greater goal—to jog again—into dozens of small goals.
During our first session, I had her pretend that she was jogging and asked her to observe the sensations. She could sense the flow of blood through her legs, the smell of the outdoor air, and the pride of pushing herself. Every time we met, which we did over the phone, I went through this exercise with her. I wanted her to remember why her supreme goal was so crucial. Then I gave her an assignment every week, which was to attune to a specific body part and imagine that it was moving.
We started with her left toes. For a week, my client concentrated on how it would feel to move them. The next week, she focused on her right toes. During the third week, she pictured herself wiggling the toes on both feet—and they twitched! It took five months, but during that time period, my client gained control over many of her leg movements. Now we only interact every month or so because she’s making amazing progress with her physical therapist.
The Subtle and the Sacred
We can’t supply a client with the motivation or power they need to achieve wellness, but we can help them pinpoint their goals, make smart decisions, and stay on track. But what can we do if we perceive that they are getting in their own way? We can take them somewhere safe and sacred, where they can figure out what is most essential to them—body, mind, and soul.
As shared within the Hindu tradition, there is an ultimate reality that bleeds through all discreet forms of reality. Called turiya, it is the penultimate consciousness, the energy of clarity and light. It is not separate from the body, although it is greater than anything in the mere physical realm.2 This is the reality that holds all our answers, as well as the willpower and wisdom needed to fulfill our destiny. The turiya is where our body, mind, and soul intertwine and create our truth.
How do we help our clients access this higher consciousness? We assist them in shifting into the bardo state, a space devoid of worldly clutter.
The bardo is a subtle and sacred space that has been known to cultures around the world and across time. It is a sort of in-between place or state in which we can examine what’s really important to us and why.
The bardo is a familiar concept among many Buddhist, Chinese, Egyptian, Hindu, and Tibetan cultures. Basically, a bardo space exists between any measurable state of existence. Another way to describe it is as a transition space in which we can perceive what suits our “turiya consciousness” or higher self, free ourselves from limiting programs, gain insight that will guarantee the highest outcomes, and perceive goals that are wholesome or holistic.
There are many depictions of these bardo or “gap” states. Some consider the bardo a series of psychospiritual states. Each of these is like a separate room that allows us to open to what the Tibetans call the “Clear Light,” which is similar to what the Hindus call the turiya. The classical bardo states are the space in which the soul pauses before incarnating and the space available after dying. But bardo spaces exist at every level of existence. They include the moments between the in and out breaths, the lapse between heartbeats, and the pause between decision and action. In other words, a bardo space exists between any transition.3
Esoteric experts including Buddhist educator Chogyam Trungpa recommend accessing the bardo state as a way to get out of the confusion that typically muddles decision making and goal setting. As he explained, trying to think our way into a decision immediately paralyzes us, forcing us to analyze what we should versus shouldn’t do. A bardo state, on the other hand, is a sort of no-man’s-land that allows us to perceive what is continuous and true.4
Setting Goals in a Bardo State
When helping clients arrive at goals that integrate their souls, everyday lives, and healing endeavors, I help them enter a bardo state in simple ways. Following are a few easy ways to help clients establish goals through this transitory space.
1. Pause the breath. When helping clients create goals, ask them to pause slightly at the top or bottom of their breaths. They can continue to breathe cyclically, but should briefly think about their main issue on either side of a breath. They can conduct this activity for a minute or two. Also ask them to sense the feeling, awareness, image, or message that comes to them through this process. Then have them take a couple of additional deep breaths and begin to set AIM-full goals.
2. Picture a clear light. As stated, the turiya state is accompanied by the clear light of consciousness. Ask your client to picture or sense a clean white light and to bask in it when goal setting. They can embrace whatever appears and you can then help them package their awareness in AIM terms.
3. Linger in the inner chamber of the heart. The very center of the heart is often identified as a void or bardo space. Ask your client to focus on their heart and think about their current bodywork or healing goals. In this space, they can perceive additional ideas and action steps that might be helpful.
4. Go for a quality. Ask your client what quality they are truly seeking in their life and healing work. Will the AIM-oriented goals and steps needed ultimately result in faith, hope, truth, love, compassion, or some other virtue? Concentrating on that quality will assist your client in staying on track.
Remember also to access your own bardo spaces when working with a client. Take a moment between breaths and connect with your essential self. Clear yourself of negativity by sensing the space between your heartbeats. And when setting your own goals, make sure to AIM high. Focus on that which is achievable, important, and measurable, but also vital to every level of your being. This luminous space that will enable clarity and empowerment exists everywhere, all the time, linking you to all things sacred.
Notes
1. C. Gazoulas et al., “Psychological Aspects of Rehabilitation Following Serious Athletic Injuries with Special Reference to Goal Setting: A Review Study,” Physical Training (2007), accessed November 2016, www.ejmas.com/pt/2007pt/ptart_galazoulas_0707.html.
2. E. Thompson, Waking, Dreaming, Being: Self and Consciousness in Neuroscience, Meditation, and Philosophy (New York: Columbia University Press, 2015): 10, 86.
3. MeditationExpert.com, “All About Bardo Practices and How to Cultivate Them,” accessed November 2016, www.meditationexpert.com/meditation-techniques/m_Bardo_practices.html.
4. C. Trungpa, The Collected Works, Volume Six (Boston: Shambhala Publications, 2004): 95–6.
Cyndi Dale is an internationally renowned author, speaker, and intuitive consultant. Her books include the bestselling The Subtle Body: An Encyclopedia of Your Energetic Anatomy (Sounds True, 2009), The Complete Book of Chakra Healing (Llewellyn Publications, 2009), and Advanced Chakra Healing (Crossing Press, 2005). To learn more about Dale and her products, services, and classes, please visit www.cyndidale.com.